DO you spend a lot of time “should-ing” on yourself?
Let’s first talk about sneaky thoughts.
Sneaky thoughts are thought errors.
These thoughts are so automatic that we’re often unaware of them. They seem to happen to us unconsciously!
The problem with these thoughts is they create unwanted desire and cause unwanted actions. They actually prevent us from achieving the result we want.
An example of a sneaky thought may be, “I should: feel better, be happier, weigh less, eat less, sleep less, make that call, be more productive, work out more, be more social, make this relationship work, be more independent, buy a house, get married, have children, return to work, be further along…”.
Should seems innocent, but is actually a very disempowering word.
After brain injury, thinking often becomes more rigid and inflexible.
Should implies that we’re not doing ‘it’ right. It may be internally driven, “I shouldn’t have said that” or externally driven, “You shouldn’t have done that.”
This result is layers of expectation that lead to negative emotions. It keeps our brains stuck in a thought loop and prevents us from moving forward.
It’s important to become aware of your should/shouldn’t thinking. Awareness is always the best place to start.
We can help you challenge why things should/shouldn’t be.